Peoria Standard

Advice for NICU moms from a NICU mom

Welcoming a new baby into the family is a massive transition. But when the baby arrives earlier than expected, the stress can feel overwhelming. For parents of a premature baby, having support can help lighten the load.

Preemie parents need care, too

For OSF HealthCare Mission Partner Rachel Harmon, it was the support of her premature son’s care team that helped her through one of the most difficult times in her life.

Rachel’s son, Waylon, was born with spina bifida at 34 weeks. With lots of progress to make before he got to go home, he spent the first few weeks of his life in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at OSF HealthCare Children’s Hospital of Illinois.

While juggling caring for their newborn in the NICU an hour away from home, Rachel and her husband also continued to be there for their 10-year-old daughter.

It’s often the premature baby who requires all the attention, which can leave behind the NICU parents who are feeling stretched beyond their limits.

The breaking point

When one of Waylon’s nurses prepared to take his temperature, she asked if Rachel would like to help. Wanting to be hands-on in her son’s care, Rachel happily agreed.

As she attempted to take her son’s temperature, the nurse noticed Rachel’s hands shaking uncontrollably. That was when Rachel crumbled. The weeks of caring for her preemie son in the NICU, caring for her older daughter and worrying nonstop had finally caught up to her.

“This sweet nurse noticed right away that something was wrong. She gently took the thermometer out of my hand, placed the side of the crib back up, wrapped her arms around me, lowered me to the floor and just let me cry. She held me tight and surrounded me with her care, compassion and love,” Rachel said.

The nurse directed Rachel to lie down and rest for a few minutes. The weight of caring for a preemie baby is most often felt by the mom. NICU mom guilt is a common feeling among preemie moms who feel they need to take care of everyone else, which often means she isn’t taking care of herself. Compassion and permission to rest for a bit were exactly what Rachel needed in order to be there for everyone and continue to give all she had.

“This nurse changed my life,” Rachel said.

NICU and preemie trauma

Having a premature baby in the NICU isn’t easy on anyone. It interrupts the routine of life. Parents are often away from home for hours on end, eating on the go, getting little sleep, missing other children who are still at home and putting aside all other responsibilities to fully be there for their preemie.

Original source can be found here